I honestly can’t believe it’s 2022. I can’t believe we have nearly two-year-olds, and I can’t believe we’re STILL IN THIS PANDEMIC MOTHERF*CKER.
The new year brings up - a lot. A lot a lot.
There’s all this pressure, anxiety, stress about it being a ‘fresh start’ and a chance to ‘be your best self’ and all this marketing jargon bullsh*t.
In the spirit of full transparency, it’s overwhelming to me.
You don’t need to cut out sugar, not drink for 30 days, or only eat vegan/paleo/gluten-free/dairy-free/keto, whatever. Like to be frank - you’ll do it for a week, maybe two weeks or the better part of a month. Then you’ll have a sip of alcohol, or some cookie or GOD FORBID some bread. You’ll feel like a failure, and you’ll go back into whatever trendy way of eating influencer ABC is doing on Instagram that seems to work for her but for all you know she’s posting arbitrarily because she’s contracted to, or she’s eating a hell of a lot more than she lets on, or she’s deeply unhappy - or all three. Or she’s super happy and loves her life and that’s great too.
Here’s what I’ll be doing this month - and all year long. You with me?
Gratuitous? Yes. But also I worked my ass off to get back to a place where I felt comfortable in my own skin again after fertility treatments, pregnancy with twins and post-partum.
PURGE THE NOISE AND THE CLUTTER
Do you follow instagram accounts that make you feel less than or like shit? Does Influencer XYZ trigger you constantly and make you make purchases you otherwise wouldn’t or swipe up on things you don’t need to buy or read? Simple solution: UNFOLLOW. Or if you want to take baby steps - MUTE. Life is goddamn stressful enough - you don’t need noise or pressure from people YOU WILL NEVER KNOW adding to it. I do a social media purge every January. If you’re not serving me or making me feel like shit about myself? You gone.
In that same vibe - get rid of stuff in your house, your kitchen, your closet. We go through nearly monthly and fill up bags to donate, get rid of, or ship off to friends (the clean baby stuff of course) who can use it. I try to keep somewhat of a capsule wardrobe in which I invest in nicer pieces (and wear them exactly never with twin toddlers dirtying everything up), and in neutral colors so that everything feels luxurious, coordinates, and FITS ME. If you haven’t worn something in a year, it doesn’t fit you, or it doesn’t make you happy to see every day - GET IT OUT. (And no, you do not need that sailor hat because YOU WILL NEVER go to a ‘yacht party’ again in your late 30’s.)
MOVE THE WAY YOU WANT TO
There are approx. 1 billion fitness apps available now. I get decision fatigue really easily. I don’t LIKE options. I like knowing what works for me, and having a routine around it. 7 months ago I did my first Melissa Wood Health workout - and I haven’t looked back. I follow her weekly schedule so it makes it easy - I open the app and do whatever is prescribed on that day. If it’s less than 30 minutes, I’ll stack it with an option from her ‘10-15 minute’ flows. I do it first thing, at 6:15am, every single day, before my kids get up (they sleep 7p-7a). Then I make a latte and I drink it in peace before the chaos of the day begins. It’s the little things. Twice a week my husband does dropoff and drops me at the gym on the way for my 30-45 minutes of cardio. The other days, at lunchtime, to get away from my desk, I go to the gym or outside to run/walk for 30-45 minutes. It’s amazing how efficient 15-30 minutes of toning every day can be - the results are incredible - I encourage you to get out of your ‘must kill myself for an hour and sweat’ mindset and into gentle, low-impact - or at least try it out.
On weekends, my husband and I each give each other an hour for fitness in the morning - be it snow shoeing, cross country skiing, hiking, running, tennis, gym. It works for us - and I appreciate the difference in my workout with an extra hour of sleep.
Don’t feel like you need to sign up for a marathon or become a runner or dive into yoga - because it’s January and everyone else is ‘getting in shape’. You’re fine.
COOK YOUR OWN FOOD
The easiest ways to drop some of that holiday water weight? (And it’s likely mostly all water weight.) Go to the grocery store. Buy real ingredients like fruits, veggies, organic/grass-fed meats, pastured eggs, wild seafood, whole grains and nuts. DO NOT buy ‘paleo bread’ or ‘gluten free bread’ - it’s all crap and filled with more crap. The only ‘bread’ alternatives that are worth it? Siete Foods tortillas or Bread Seriously GF sourdough. After you’ve checked out, find some recipes you like that aren’t super daunting and cook them. Restaurant and takeout and delivery food is delicious, yes - but it’s also loaded with oils and butters and tons of salt you wouldn’t normally use (who even buys Canola oil?) and the portion sizes could feed a family.
It’s also not about eating the right things, but the right amount of - all the things. Aim for your plate to be 85% plant-based (that includes grains and healthy fats like nuts and avo) and then add a palm-sized portion of protein if that’s your thing. Take 20 minutes to eat - or at least let your brain send satiety signals to your stomach over 20 minutes before you go back for seconds. The body is pretty in-tune to what it needs. You’ll know when you’re full.
Your meat/protein portion should be the size of your hand. Your healthy fat should be about 2T - or 1/2 an avocado. Unlimited vegetables and fruit in my world. Limit refined sugar. It sounds SO EXTRA but a date stuffed with almond butter and sprinkled with cacao nibs, Maldon sea salt and shredded coconut is so effing good once you get off the sugar addiction of the holiday season (and we’ve ALL been there).
Also- smoothies. That one that you order at the juice bar or store? It’s not healthy. And it likely has WAY more calories than you’ve anticipated. And is made with sweetened nut milk or one that has less calories but a lot of filler. Make your own at home. Literally just Google it. My favorite combo is : 1 c liquid (usually almond milk - Malk or Three Trees - just read the label), 1-2T almond butter, 1/2-1c frozen blueberries, 1/2 froz banana, 1T chia seeds, tiny knob of ginger, illegal amounts of cinnamon, handful greens.
While we’re at it - drink your coffee black. Or with cinnamon (promotes digestion). Or with steamed milk/almond/oat milk that has like 1-3 ingredients. None of this “less than 2%…” fillers/sunflower oil/careenagen crap. Fancy gingerbread lattes are treats - you don’t need a 300 calorie ‘beverage’ every morning.]
Carbs are not the enemy here. Just be mindful of the type you eat. Try to avoid white flours and sugars - they spike blood sugar and promote inflammation in your body. Which we don’t want. Opt for sprouted grain (gluten is not the enemy here). And don’t skip meals - breakfast, lunch, dinner. A snack if you need it. Eat enough so that you’re satiated but not stuffed. Have dessert nightly. Drink a glass of wine. I promise you a glass of wine or a single dessert isn’t the reason you feel bloated. It’s a combination of too much food, too much sugar, and not enough movement for an extended period of time (and we’ve all been in this extended period of time since March 2020 - so go easy on yourself.)
Want some resources to get started?
I love Domesticate Me (she wrote The Dude Diet) Well Plated, and Cookie and Kate.
So if we HAVE to have a mantra for 2022 - LETS KEEP IT SIMPLE. Don’t over complicate anything.
Life, work, adulting, parenting, pandemic-ing is too complicated as it is.
